M's Case Plan

Today I'm sharing with you all the information that was in M's Case Plan.  Straight from the documents.  We go through the history and what lead up to a shelter order being issued.

While this episode does not contain any cursing, it does contain some hard subjects (drugs, suicide, neglect, etc) so please note that prior to listening.

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Transcript

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Hey, hey, hey, y'all. Welcome to the Graceful Truth Unscripted Podcast. I'm your host, Dana. We're here to speak truth in the most graceful way possible about our personal experiences that we've had throughout the foster care and adoption system. We're also going to cover some things we've encountered along the way. We don't sugarcoat anything. These are all real people telling their stories. I've always wanted a place for aunts, uncles, grandparents, current and former caseworkers, doctors, therapists, and really anybody such as yourself who knows anything or has had any interaction with a foster or adoptive parent or child. This is a safe place. This is a place we're going to share our stories without feeling judgment, without being misunderstood, or really being turned into an aid of state or simply sharing our experiences. We're also going to laugh, we're going to cry, we're going to come together as one to figure out the best way to effectively change the legislation and the laws and also ways to help our children. We're also going to be there for those parents that are struggling with how to cope with the many different situations that we have to deal with on a day-in-to-day-out basis. We're also going to cover some mental health, medical health, special needs, and of course the joys of being a parent. Our goal is to be the voice for those who can't speak. We're here to share our stories, we're here to share our realities. It's time to come together and be that voice for these children. So please join us as we embark on this journey. Alright, y'all. Today, I'm going to be sharing the case information on our son, who I will refer to as M throughout the episode, just to protect his identity. So anytime you hear the M, that is my son. If you can't tell, I'm uh number one fighting the pollen, but this is not something that comes easy to me. Every time I read case paperwork or court records or really anything, even though I've read it so many times, it fires me up still to this day. And it's just it's not something that's easy. So I have applied all the things that I use to help me calm myself, accept it, work through the trauma, work through his history because this is his reality. I don't know what's gonna come out. I don't know if I'm gonna start crying, I don't know if I'm gonna get angry. I don't know what's going to happen, but just to preface this, I am pretty much just going through the paperwork and the history of him and his uh bio mom. So there's not gonna be any cussing, anything like that, but there may be some not super graphic details, but there's going to be some hard things that we discussed today and that I reveal to you. And again, this is just remember back to that episode. If you haven't heard the Floyd's part one, go listen to that episode because nothing prepared me for this. The classes that we took didn't prepare me for really what you step into. This is what you step into every time that there's a court hearing, every time a lot of the stuff's repeated, so I may repeat the same stuff over and over again, but said differently or talked about in a different way. So today I didn't do, you know, the paperwork on this, as I explained, is mounds of paperwork. What I did is I pulled the case plan, the shelter order. So you're gonna hear me flipping through pages because, well, that's what I'm reading from. And then the termination of parental rights. We're gonna go through pages of reports that were called in. So it's just gonna, it's gonna be a lot. It's criminal activity, mental health struggles, so just be prepared. If you're easily triggered by certain things, just that's all I can do is I is prepare you. So M was born in 2010, and he right away was called uh there was a call place to DCF by the hospital because of their diligence, because he was positive for seven drugs. Um, being born with seven drugs in his system, we to this day do not know what those um drugs consisted of. We do know that information for my daughter, so I will be reading that on her episode. But for him, we don't know what drugs he was born with. We can assume based on all the information that we know, as well as my daughter's testing, but we definitely know there was Xanax. Um, other than that, like we know concrete that that was one of the we don't need no test to tell us that. Well, we know for sure, and I'll tell you that hilarious story later. But yeah, she was addicted to Xanax. That was one of that was her drug of choice, really. So we know that he was born with that. So um, let's read the shelter order or go through the shelter. I'm not gonna read it word for word, but um this shelter order case paperwork was drafted August 5th of 2011. And if you remember, we got him in its September of 2011. So August 5th is when he was sheltered. And I'm just gonna go through this, and I don't know what other way to do it but then to do it and pray just dropped some. It's alright. Real life here. All right. Um, the minor children or minor child was placed in shelter duly authorized by said agent. It lists the agent name, date of removal was August 4th, 2011, at 4:30 in the afternoon. And it lists the legal guardians, the mother and the father. It lists the mother's uh bio mom as where she was residing, and then it lists his biofather with an unknown location. Um let's see. Trying a lot of this is just uniform, whenever blah blah blah. Duly notified that children were taken into custody. We gotta get to the nitty-gritty part. They were present at the hearing, they requested an appointment of counsel, and counsel was appointed, so they listed out who um her legal counsel was at the time and the probable cause. So this is where we're going. This is a lot of I'm gonna try and summarize it, but the actual case for sure, I really want to kind of get through. So this is the the report of what she was taken, and then we get into the officer's report or why he was taken, not she, sorry. I'm reading anyway. On Thursday, August 4th, Deputy W is what I will refer to him as. It gives his ID, responded to the address due to a call made to 911 concerns of the mother. AC is what I will call her, had overdosed. The landlord is the individual that made the 911 call after he went to the home to attempt to collect the rent, which had not been paid. He witnessed the mother passed out and on the bed. As he was attempting to waken her, her eyes were rolling back into her head rather than just opening. Once the deputy arrived on the scene, the mother's eyes were open and she was more coherent. The mother disclosed to the deputy that she had taken Xanax the night before, and that's why she was sleeping, and she denied that she had overdosed or taken anything in the morning. She further advised that the victim, M, was in her care when she was using the Xanax. However, at the time of the deputy's contact, the child was in daycare. Now, this is the deputy's uh bits and pieces from his report. I responded to the home within a few hours of the deputy's contact and the deputy. So this is the CPI. I apologize. So this is the CPI's report. I responded to the home within the few hours of the deputy's contact. Deputy W was back at the home due to a report to 911 about an assault with a deadly weapon. Another story. I will exagger I will uh not exaggerate. I will I will fill that blanket. I don't know what the word is. Y'all just love me. Okay. Um the mother's boyfriend, who is allegedly the father to the unborn child, so my daughter, was under arrest for pulling a knife on the odor of a restaurant here. There was a so what happened was there was a a campground right next to a very well-known local restaurant in our county, and he had gotten into an altercation with the owner of said restaurant, and he threatened to kill him pulling out a knife, so this is why they then went to the house yet again. Uh WTW stated that TJ, which is our daughter T's listed biological father. So WTW stated that TJ, the mother's boyfriend, was present when he was at the home earlier. He was under the influence of alcohol and possibly other mind-altering substances and was belligerent. Mr. J was asleep on the bed with the mother when the landlord had gone to the home about the rent, and that is what prompted the confrontation after the deputy left. Deputy W stated that Mr. J was aggressive, continually made insinuations that he sold marijuana and made reference to a large amount of money that he had in his pants. I just can't with that. Um, next bullet point is the mother was interviewed in regards to the allegations, and she denied that she told WDW that she took the Xanax the night prior. She stated that she didn't overdose, she didn't take Xanax the night prior and hadn't taken any so far. So we already have a recant of a story that she told the day before. The uh mother, so AC stated that she has prescription for transodone. It's T-R-A-Z-A-D-O-N-E, Furicet, Lore Tabs, and Phenerigan, P-H-E-N-E-R-G-A-N. Um she only had a bot a bottle for the phenid or whatever that is. I don't know I can't even tell this. P-H-E-N-E-G-A-N. And stated that J S, which is the landlord, keeps her medications for her. The landlord runs the missions homeless shelter where she and M have been staying on and off for the last year. After I had learned that the landlord kept the mother's prescriptions at the shelter, I asked her where she obtained the medications that she stated. She took. She pulled out a small plastic bag that contained three transodones, a few Tylenol, and additional phenenerogen. Y'all, I told y'all you don't know what you're gonna get. I just laugh at myself sometimes. But if you know how to properly pronounce that word, will you shoot me a voice message to like my email or on Instagram? You can kindly record that and hit send right to me. Okay. She stated that she obtained them from the landlord. As I interviewed AC, further she admitted that she had taken Transidone, it gives the milligram, the night before, but hadn't taken anything on this date. Then she admitted that she had taken Transodone the night prior and a few hours prior to my contact. AC stated that she took the transodone because M had had not slept well the night before and she was tired, so she took the Transodone to help her sleep. She stated that M was up late, up at midnight for 30 minutes, and then went back to sleep the rest of the night. AC later changed her story and indicated that she had taken two lore tabs Wednesday night and a transodone. I'm probably not even saying that one right, but that's what I'm going with. While M was in her care. When I questioned her about where M slept in a proximity 22 to 25 foot RV, she stated that actually her roommate, I'll just say TJ because that's her initials, watched M the night prior and he had slept in her bed rather than in the bed with AC and TJ. I knew this not to be true because Miss J, which is TJ the one that was watching him supposedly, was not at the home when the deputy had initially arrived and had been called to the home, and she had admitted that she did not stay at the home on Wednesday night. Therefore, AC admitted that she was the primary giver for the child on Wednesday night, and she had taken several medications which are known to have mind-altering effects. AC then stated she wasn't under the influence when caring for M because he was asleep, which was in contradiction from what she had already disclosed about him sleeping. So this all happened less than 24 hours. She's told all these different stories. I just want to point that out. Like I if you're not following along, yeah, just go back and re-listen to it over and over again. She blames everybody trying to not say that she was home by herself with M and had taken too many medications and was probably on the verge of an overdose. Approximately three weeks prior to my face-to-face contact with AC, I was made aware of concerns with her abusing pills and turning tricks while pregnant by a CCSO crime analysis employee that had been listening to jail calls in reference to another verge individual and heard AC on the phone. I reviewed some of the phone calls which were initiated by JL, Miss TJ's Paramour. During several of the jail calls, which occurred late July 2011, AC speaks about buying and taking Xanax, somas, and other pills. During one phone call, she walks to a neighbor's home and asks to buy Xanax after J tells her where she can get some. In addition, she talks about prostituting herself for money so she can buy more pills. She oftentimes has slurred speech during the phone calls, which occurred at various times of the day and night. So we're still not done yet. I'm just gonna take a break. I'm gonna take a sip of my water real quick. And I often have to take breaks while reading this. And I can explain I'm sure you already know because you probably already irritated yourself. But I confronted the mother about the jail phone calls and she denied the information. I asked her the last time she used any Xanax, and she initially stated that she took Xanax three to four days ago and then later changed it to two to three days ago. She admitted she did not have a prescription, but she had anxiety and needs it. She stated that the doctor, her OBGYN, will not prescribe it. I asked her why she thought that was, and she stated that she did not know. I asked her if it was because she was pregnant and it could cause harm to her and her unborn child, and she stated that the sinners had wanted to put her on poop. That's not the word. I promised you guys I would not cuss. So poop like Zoloft and stuff, and it can cause birth defects, and she doesn't need it. She needs the Xanax. The mother of her roommate, or sorry, the mother and her roommate TJ were asked to submit to a dress drug screen. Both refused. Miss J admitted that she is also pregnant and she admitted to smoking marijuana and taking pills that were not prescribed during jail. During the jail calls, there are sever there are several conversations about Miss J abusing pills as well, therefore further indicating the unsafe environment that M is being raised in. Have y'all tried Pop Fusion's Pops yet? If you haven't, you're really missing out. And they are who we are highlighting today on the small business spotlight. Honestly, I can't even tell you a favorite because they're all so delicious. You may have even had one while visiting Disney World in Orlando. Pop Fusion's gourmet ice pops have a unique flavor combination that will exhilarate your taste buds. They serve their delicious pops at all types of events. Owned by Nancy and Kelly, Pop Fusions is the original gourmet ice pop of Citrus County. 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The adult beverages pops, I should say, are sparkling strawberry, berry sangria, white sangria, mango mimosa, and then they have some cocktail pops. Blueberry mojito, pina colada, Florida screwdriver, strawberry margarita, classic margarita, and a rod runner. So head on over to their Facebook page, facebook.com slash popfusions, and I'm gonna go grab me one of my pops. During my investigation, I spoke to several collateral contacts which offered the following concerns. Mr. Landlord stated that he keeps AC's medication so she won't take it all at one time. He disclosed that she has had this problem abusing drugs in the past and has he has been trying to help her. However, he knows that if she had them in her possession, she would abuse them. He showed me two prescription bottles that indicated they were the only pills he had for AC. He had a bottle of Lore Tab that were filled on this date for how many pills they were prescribed to take one every six hours. There were this many left. He also had a bottle of the one I can't pronounce. However, he did not have Transodone or Furicet. I advised him that she had transodone on her person, and she indicated that she had taken them the night prior and on the date of contact, and he stated that she had been out of them and she is not supposed to be taking them because she's pregnant. The landlord stated that he's been trying to help her for about a year. He stated that the mother and child are living at the shelter. However, when I had questioned the mother, she indicated that she and M had been staying at Miss J's and Mr. L's for about three weeks, which is approximately the same time period that Mr. L went to jail. Mr. Sorry. The landlord further disclosed that M needs tubes in his ears. The surgery was set up a few weeks prior, but he thought that the doctor's office had messed the appointment up. He indicated that he was working on getting appointments set back up for the surgery, but it had not been completed yet. He being the landlord trying to get this schedule back on. When I interviewed the mother, she indicated that M needed tubes in his ears and the surgery was set for this date. However, it was canceled. It is unclear as to why the landlord was attempting to make necessary medical appointments for the child and why there are discrepancies in their information. Furthermore, it is not clear as to why the surgery has not been rescheduled again. The landlord did admit that the mission supplies M with all his diapers and other supplies because the mother is unable to do so. SD, a worker at the mission, transported M to daycare on Thursday morning. She stated that the mother, M and TJ, met her at the corner of 44 and P a little after 7 a.m. M was standing in the street, and neither the mother nor Mr. J was holding his hand. M was dressed in a onesie and was not that was not fastened, and he had no shoes on. Miss D stated that the mother and Mr. J were high on something, and she knew this because the mother's pupils were very large, she was not steady on her feet, and her words were slurred. She was unable to put M in the van, so she asked Mr. J to do it, and he was so messed up that he couldn't lift the child into the van and into the seat. Another passenger in the van reached out and picked him up and put him in the seat. Miss D was emotional and crying when describing what occurred. She expressed concern for the mother's ability to take care of the child due to her substance abuse and the individuals that she hangs out with. She further states that the mother that the mothers always have an expensive pedicure with fancy designs, but she can't buy the child shoes or other supplies. I spoke to four neighbors in the RV park which did not risk wish to be identified. They each expressed concerns for the young child in the home due to drugs, frequent traffic at the home, and partying, to include a party that occurred the night prior, which was Wednesday night, when M's M was with the mother. All four neighbors stated that the mother was high, and so were the other persons that were coming and going from the home. J N, the daycare's director, expressed strong concerns for the child and his well-being. She stated that M is often brought to school without being provided breakfast. They do not provide breakfast or lunch, and the parents are responsible for providing it. Oftentimes his lunch is not adequate. He is dirty, smells, and appears unkept. Supplies are oftentimes sparse or not provided. Miss N further stated that he was coming with shoes on that were too small and his toes were curled up in the shoes. The mother was asked if she could buy him some shoes and she denied that she could. However, she always has nice fingernails with a fancy design on them. Furthermore, Miss N provided a bottle that was packed in M's lunchbox. The nipple had grime in it and several areas that appeared to be mildew on the inside. She stated that this is the this is a daily problem that they have been dealing with. His diaper bag is always filthy as well. So I'm gonna take a break. If you can't tell, I'm getting emotional. Just reading it, like just reliving and thinking what he endured in his very young age, not knowing what's going on. I mean, he would have been um he would he would have been 15 months old at this point going through this. Like I just can't. I'm sorry, guys. Alright. Um, M will be evaluated by the CPT due to several marks, scratches, and concerning areas on his body. M is only 14 months old and recently started walking after the daycare purchased him sandals and actually fit that actually fit his feet, yet he has multiple scars, discolorations, scratches, etc., from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. Let me make a comment about walking. Um my son could walk, but not very well. He maybe took about two to three steps and fell every single time, and then of course he'd get back up and keep walking. So he wasn't walking, walking, he was just able to walk because of this. So he has scratch marks which appear to be lighter than the rest of his skin on the back of his neck, his shoulders, back, legs, and arms. He has pinpoint scabs on his scalps and other scabs on other various parts of his body. He has two circular discolorations on the back of his neck below his hairline. He has some type of scabbed rash on his buttocks as well. He has several other areas on various places on his body that appears to be scars from injuries. He has multiple swollen and pus-filled ant bites on both of his feet. A few areas on his feet are actually sores that were oozing and were painful and crusty. The mother indicated that this that it was the ant bites that he had gotten at daycare, and the director was questioned about this and stated that it absolutely did not occur at the daycare. The landlord and the mother indicated M had poison ivy on his body. It is not clear how a one-year-old was exposed to poison ivy. However, it is possible that some of the areas on his skin are areas that M was scratching due to poison ivy. However, poison ivy cannot be attributed to all of the areas on the child's body. Now, the landlord states this. My guess based on when we got him after two months in another foster home, those scratches and scars were still there and he was still itching. It was not poison ivy. Just saying. I mean, I can't say here nor there. Anyway. Additional information: the mother was positive for marijuana and benzos at the birth of M. So we got some more information there. And was positive for benzos as well. The mother admitted to taking Xanax without a prescription during the investigation. It was reported by the hospital at the time that the mother had several prior positive drug screens during her previous pregnancies dating back three years. The mother participated with voluntary case plans that included healthy start substance abuse services and in-home parenting. Now, I'm going to say something because I know that that statement was a lie. When M was born, the hospital called four times and required the name, ID number, and a letter from the Department of Children and Families because they never showed up to the hospital. Not once. The hospital continuously called and they never came out when he was born. So let that sink in. In December of 2010, the mother was provided services through the crisis response team as well as counseling substance abuse treatment due to the receipt of another report. CRT closed their services out as the mother being noncompliant. She had tested positive for marijuana and admitted that she went to the shelter to detox from misusing prescription medications. The mother has two other children. The mother is currently on felony probation for petty theft, third conviction, restrictions including no driving due to suspended license, no alcohol, no illegal drugs. Her probation officer has been notified of the investigation and the drug screen refusal. And I'm going to say something about that too. Let's see. The department called many times to the BioMom's probation officer telling them she had a positive drug screen, knowing that she was on probation, knowing that she was pregnant, and the probation officer would not call wherever the testing was to receive that report at all. So I know a lot of probation officers out there. This one particularly irritates me just because of the criminal history BioMom has, as well as the praising that this specific probation officer had in our community. Yet we were on the wrong end of that. He did absolutely nothing to help any of the children's. And I mean, everybody's saying, yeah, she's throwing her life away, drugs, you got the son, but what you don't realize is she still has my daughter in her stomach testing positive for drugs. And the probation officer could have arrested her, put her in jail until she had my child, and my child may have been able to not have had drugs while she was growing in utero for nine months. Alright, y'all, the next small business spotlight is Rustic Mamas. They are a warm Southern Country home design company who handmakes magnesium creams, soy candles, soaps, and various other items for your home. Currently they're running a special buy two, get one free with no additional cost on shipping. Every 50 orders that are placed, they will be refunding that 50th order, 100th order, 150, etc. Once they reach 500 orders, they're going to pick 10 people's orders to be refunded. If you're unable to place your order right now, head on over to their Facebook page and share their live video of where they're talking about this sale, and they will be doing a giveaway of a basket valued of over $250 for every 500 shares. So a basket at 500 shares, 1,000 shares, another basket. If you're a small business, head on over to their Facebook page and let them know what you're willing to donate for the basket. To place your order, please go to their Facebook page, shoot them a message, or call 727-267-9127 to ensure your order is processed properly. Small business owners need to come together, and our community needs to come together at a time like this. So let's go out there, love on our people, head on over to rusticmamas at facebook.com slash rusticmamas4. The link to their shop is in our show notes. Time to get back to our story. The mother has been homeless since at least the birth of M. She depends on other people to provide basic needs for M, yet she has cigarettes, manicures, and can purchase drugs illegally. The pursuant to Florida statutes, the mother exposed the minor child to controlled substances, and there's evidence of extensive abusive and chronic use of controlled substances by the mother, and the child demonstratively adversely affected by such usage. Another Florida statute for the mother neglecting the minor child and that she fails to supply the child with adequate food, clothing, and shelter, although offered means to do so. As to the father, the father and the mother indicated that the father is JM, which does not live in this state. The child has the last name of C because she thought another man was the father, but paternity verified that he was not the father. A C indicated that she attempted to get child support from JM. JM is not on the birth certificate and does not provide any financial, physical, or emotional support for the child. Then it lists the child the child was abused, abandoned, neglected, or is suffering from imminent danger of illness injury due to result of abuse, abandonment, neglect, prior history to the park department. And then it says referred to what we just went through. And then there's the then there's checkboxes. Shelter was granted. And they replaced with a non-relative placement of J and J N. So preschool daycare worker was the first set of foster parents. Um she got supervised visitation. She was granted visitations to where she had to find her own transportation to the visitation center or a mutually agreed upon area, which I had to point out to the caseworker at that time because she was picking up the bio mom, then picking up my son, and then going to a park with them. And I said, no, no, you can pick up my son and bring him to the park, but she's responsible for finding her ride. So if you are currently a foster parent, be sure to read your court documents and be sure to talk to your caseworker about it. I had some amazing caseworkers, and as soon as I told her that, she was like, Thank you, Jesus. I thought I had to do it this way. I'm like, no, no. It says specifically here, and I read it and told her where it was. Um, they scheduled a hearing, two hearings. I think that's pretty much it of. Oh, they made a special note that they would look for the father, um, get all the prescription information, the CPT report, but basically gather all the stuff that they need for future hearings. So the next thing I'm not gonna go through his entire case plan. So anytime you have a child in foster care, there's a case plan that is written up, and it is basically steps for these parents to get their children back. Now, when we were in the class, we were told they only had to do four of they only had to do like 75%. So if they had six steps that they had to do, they only had to complete four of them. Um, so these were her requirements, her tasks. Um, the alleged birth father had no tasks because they couldn't find him. So she entered into this agreement, which was monthly face-to-face contact with a family care manager, a psychiatric psychiatric evaluation and medication management following all recommendations, substance abuse evaluation, residential treatment if recommended, follow all recommendations, co-occurring groups if recommended. She had to get stable housing, stable income, in-home parenting upon reunification, and she had um to be able she had to visit her children or child at that time. I'm sorry, it wasn't children at the time. They did have on here individual counseling, however, that was marked out and initialed. So then we go to the termination um of per uh well let's not go to that one yet. That's the termination of parental rights. It actually happened, no, after I just put these in the wrong order. So I'm gonna go through this paperwork fairly quickly. Um, that had a lot of the information about why he was taken from the home. So I'm gonna kind of scan through this and just see if there's anything really I need to tell you guys. Um, so in section 2A, they just give a very brief three-paragraph summary of what happened. And this is the predisposition study. So this is basically um it gives the child, the child herein referred to as M was sheltered from his mother AC on this date due to allegations of substance abuse, inadequate food, clothing, and shelter. The mother entered into a case plan with a sole goal of reunification and goal date of. There is diligent search per uh pending for the father. Um the child currently resides with non-relatives, and we remain in the care till the goal has been achieved. So then it gives um just a very brief overview of how he where he came into care, where the parents are, and who he's with now, who his caseworker is now. Um that upon shelter, he was initially placed with non-relatives Jane J N. Um, once she was laid off from the being a director at the preschool, and due to lack of income, they could no longer care for him. They were then placed with us, which were also non-relative. Um, the mental and physical health of the parents. The mother AC is currently pregnant and due in early December 2011. The mother claims she suffers from no health problems, and that her OBGYN states that her baby is also healthy. The mother has reported suffering depression and relating to her father's suicide, but currently reports no other mental health issues. There is a diligent search pending for the father. I will like I will expand on some of these if stuff is missed out of these paperworks. Manny is this month's old with no school or community record at this time. The child is too young to express what he wants. Um, evidence of domestic violence or substance abuse, it really goes back through again um the report that I just read to you. Literally the entire report. The assessment of dangers, um, the risk of the child was high. The mom was 22 abusing multiple prescription uh meds, some prescribed, some not. She has unstable housing, lack of bonding with the child, and has poor decision-making skills that jeopardize her safety as well as the safety of her child. The mother is unemployed, admitted to taking Xanax without a prescription, has had not had stable housing in years, abusing substances for years in her medical records, as well as the department investigations. Mother is five months pregnant, does not have positive influences, does not have a family support. The department has been involved with the mother for the past few years, and free effective services have been offered. The child was removed, etc. etc. Um, task remaining. This was just their tax at task that they had to do before they went into terminating the. Rights obtain medical records from and it lists everything. Complete a search for the father, obtain a 72-hour check from the doctor, obtain a current CPT report and historical report, complete um screens, prepare packets for legal, ensure CPI blank provides the completed home study for approval, attempt to find some of AC's family and make contact, create the DVDs of the jail phone calls and does for discovery and provide to legal, attempt to contact the owner at the restaurant again. The child will reside with a parent. In order for the mother to achieve reunification, she must substantially comply with the terms of her case plan, therefore reducing risk to the child. The mother signed her case plan in 2011, has not had the opportunity to initiate services. The mother still had to complete pretty much everything. She never maintained regular visitation. It was sporadic, so she really didn't complete anything. Abuse in criminal history for all caregivers, family members, and individuals residing with the household in the household that child removed fate. So on 8-4, it gives the intake number, the maltreatments. Um it was 4M for substance misuse. It goes through the alleged victim, blah blah blah. Everybody that was a participant in that, and then the criminal history. Then December 16th of 2010, there was another report for environmental hazards. Again, it gives other cases where they verified that this was indeed. Here we go. Oh, there was a case in 2010, and then there was a case in 2008, and this was with her first child. Um, and her first child's father. There were allegations of crack marijuana tested positive. Um, the paternal grandmother got the first child, another one for December 6 for family violence threatening a child. Another one for December 6. Family violence, substance misuse, another one in uh on the day. So here is the day that he was born. They have it in here, child intake, that who the participants were, and nothing was done. Not one dang thing was done. Um while she was pregnant, substance misuse report, mental injury on another one. I mean, DCF was no stranger to her house. Substance misuse, physical injury. This is just going to her criminal history. Um and including all the named fathers, the named people that she was hanging around with. Those are all in here. Every single one of them. So here's some other non-moving traffic violation. Substance exposed to child verified, bruises, welds, another physical injury. Bruises welts, medical neglect, physical injury, inadequate supervision, hazardous conditions, bruises welts, bone fracture, another mental injury. Um, other physical injury, conditions hazardous, bruises welts, bruises welts, other physics physical injury, failure to protect, hazardous conditions, bruises welts. So again, all of this history on the people that he was living with for 14 months, and not one darn thing done. And if that doesn't light your fire, I don't honestly know what can. I'm still going flipping through pages of more individual um individual reports. So recommendations. The mother has not yet had the opportunity to participate in her evaluations. The mother will remain regular scheduled visitation with the child. The mother has entered into a case plan, they made all appropriate referrals, it goes through home study required, child support established, which they didn't have to pay reunification to be considered, and then it was signed. So then, of course, we went through some more, and she never complied. So then in April we did the termination, or I'm sorry, the courts did the termination of parental rights. Yay! Um, they were remaining, they were to remain with us, where she lived, father of the children unknown, the GAL, what the grounds were for termination, so they kind of just really again went and summarized everything. So multiple pages of that, respective, respectively sign and submitted, signed off, and termination of rights was granted. Now, termination of rights was granted in April of 2012, and this is very important. April of 2012. So I had to go in and testify to the courts and um walking into the court, and I'll tell you more about this day later, but just know that number one, it wasn't easy, but I knew what I had to do for my son, and number two, she was in the court system in jail, and I'll tell you more about that. So I'm in a courtroom with just the mother, her attorney, our DCF attorney, and guardian lightum, and the judge, because that's all who's and the police officers, obviously, but because that's all who's allowed in a child hearing. They are closed off to the public, they're closed off to anybody that isn't testifying at that time. Me and the caseworker could not, like, the actual caseworker, not the attorney caseworker, had to be outside of their room. We could not be in there at the same time. So I will tell you more about that whole day because that's a whole story in itself. And those rights were terminated in 2000 and April of 2012. Our adoption date wasn't until July of 2013, because she was able to file an appeal, and she did so. She had 90 days to do this. She did this on the 89th day they filed the appeal for um not having good counsel, basically, was what it boiled down to. And it was literally, we don't know why she did it. She just wanted to extend that, and she always kept saying, But I'm sober. I'm sober. I haven't had drugs in, you know, however long she was in jail, really. And the judge would tell her, That's because you're in jail, it's because you're locked up. So I know that that was kind of hard to hear. It wasn't kind of hard. That was hard to hear. Um, I'm sure you could tell the very dis different emotions going through my voice. So I'm gonna end this here. I'm gonna end his story here. That was not even everything in his history because I didn't talk about a lot of stuff, which I can fill in later. Um, but I just wanted to sit down and read to you what what what my child will read when it's that time, and he wants to know more about his mom and why he was taken away and all the details, right? So we explain it on a level that they can understand without making the mother made out to be anything. And I've always told them, when you're ready, I will allow you to read the paperwork because you need to know your history, you need to know about everything that happened, and I'm not hiding that from them. Um, but it is required. So this is literally what he'll be reading. He will be reading every single one of those, and unfortunately, he'll have to be in a controlled site, uh, a controlled um area where because some of these are gonna be triggers. I already know that based on what I know of my son, and they're gonna it's gonna trigger him. So it's it's never easy, and every time I have to read through those to either try and find a bit of information or like share them with you, I just for a few days after it just eats me up. So I'm gonna go apply my goodies um and start winding down. Um, I hope that this kind of gives you an insight of what he went through. Not necessarily how bad BioMom is, because BioMom has a heck of a history herself. I mean, I shared that her father committed suicide, but she has two brothers and a mom that were alcoholics and abused drugs as well. So I'm sure that there is major abuse there. Um I'm almost positive of it, and it's just it's not if you don't get the help that you need, I can't say this enough. Reach out. I don't understand why there's such a stigma around reaching out from help. It does absolutely nothing but help you. Who cares what other people think? We all have crap. You don't think that I've been sitting in my therapist office before with all this crap that I went through, not only from here, but having to deal with suicide myself from a personal family member. Had I not getting help, I probably wouldn't be here today. And that's 100% the truth. So please, please, please, please, please talk to somebody. Even if you don't want to talk to a professional, talk to somebody. Don't hold it in, guys. Don't throw your life away over something that happened in your childhood. It sucks. It sucks. I had an amazing childhood. I mean, I had some verbal abuse, not by my not by my family. I mean, she was family, but not by like my mom or dad. Um, and it jacked me up because I never said anything about it. I thought it was normal. It is not normal. You are a human being, and until you start talking about stuff, you won't heal. Okay, that's my two cents. I'm gonna go. Thank you guys for listening to this. I hope that I didn't stir up too many things. Remember, this has a happy ending. We have a lot of stuff that we're dealing with, obviously, because of his history, but he is safe, he is loved, and I can't, I just can't explain how much joy he brings to our family, even though he does also bring some sadness and irritation. But we are all parents, right? Alright. I'm gonna go. And I hope you guys have an amazing rest of your Friday. Thank you all so much for listening to this episode of the Graceful Truth Unscripted podcast. Here's what I want you to do next. Take a screenshot of that episode you're listening to right now. Head on over to your Instagram or Facebook stories and tag Graceful Truth Unscripted so more people can find our podcast. Also, if you really love us, head on over to iTunes and leave us a review. I will be reading as many reviews as I can on the next episode of the podcast, so be sure to listen for your shout out. If you haven't already, please click that subscribe button so you don't miss a show. And don't forget, if you have a question for the show, shoot us a message on Instagram or Facebook or email gracefultruthunscripted at gmail.com. Alright, y'all. Time to spread the sunshine wherever you go. See ya.